I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize