Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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