While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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