It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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