if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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