Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize