I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize