I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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