He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize