So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize