Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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