I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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