drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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