very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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