I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize