it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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