There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
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Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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