I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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