They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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