life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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