i just made my gag reflex go away.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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