How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize