Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize