Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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