Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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