dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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