I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize