I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize