dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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