He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Bring me that man meat
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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