Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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