beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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