the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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