Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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