That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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