just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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