Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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