I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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