I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize