i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize