final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize