i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize