I accidentally had phone sex last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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