mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize