dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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