like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize