hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize