he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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