I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize