wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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